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I was digging in my mum's drawer to to find my social security card and I came across this pouch of stuff that I'm guessing is my mum's " sentimental objects. " Among these were: My great great grandpap's homemade remedies and tips on yardwork and stuff like " pour bleach in mole holes. " and my mum's dad's small bible his mother gave to hi when he left for the war, it's really beat up and it says " May this bless you and keep you on the cover. " And this little poem my mum wrote when she was little that was published in the newspaper.
What Makes Me Smile
What makes me smile? Thre are more than a few BUt here are some, from me to you.
Junk food, holidays, Saturday nights. Vacation time, just seeing this sights. Going places with my friends. Summer days that never end.
Christmas time, with presents and all. Going Shopping in the mall. Gazing at the stars above. Being with someone I love.
These are some things that make me smile. And those are only a few. But one thing I'm pretty sure of. They probably make you smile, too!
Erin Bucy Monongahela grade 8 Finley Junior High School.
it's defiantly made me smile.
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( supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
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I'll listen to your problems, but I'm not going to tell you mine.
I won something really important, most people don't know it's that important, but it is to me. The Rachel Carson Award. Rachel Carson graduated from Chatam College, then known as the Allegheny County Women's College. She wrote books on nature and DDT, and was very famous for it. Someone came from the school to give me the award and it was announced and everyone clapped....I liked that. I also got a 1,000 dollar scholarship, but I'm not going to use it. Chatham doesn't have anything to offer me. Friday is the last day, and I'm very happy....but I loved this year.
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( 1 supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Friday couldn't have been better.
I passed my licence test the first time taking the test.
Plans for the 14 person limo failed, something was wrong with it, they gave us a 22 passanger Ford excursion, so we got to be high rollers for the night.
Prom was great, friends....dancing, awesome.
Nicki met us and we went to Mr. Washington, for the view and photos.
Dancing waters at Station Square, got our dance on to some sweet 80's tunes.
And the night ended with six gorgeous people in my bed. :D
Thanks to all, that was fun.
Tomorrow, if all goes well, which it should. I'm buying a car, hooray!
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( 1 supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Thursday, April 21st, 2005
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What started out as a really good day has turned sour. April 21st, one for the books, and I never said goodbye. My grandma called crying to tell me that she put my cat Teddy to sleep today. His pedigree name is C.R's Teddybear, which is cute, but now he's gone. 17 years... rest in peace, buddy, you'll be missed.
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( 1 supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
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I do believe I'll stop liking him now, there isn't any chance. Which is too bad for both of us, because I would have been good to him. I have also decided I'm going to stop doing a million nice things for people, and let them do it themselves, because everything I do is never good enough. I'm using Ecology as a prime example. I do a lot of the work, and Kiriam isn't satisfied, still we turn in my work and she manages to get an A in that class. I do not have an A in there. And she got really mad when I didn't want to help, aka, do her Watershed questions. I didn't feel like doing my own, let alone hers. I've done so much for this Earth Day thing, but she's a saint because she painted our board SHE took it home, I couldn't work in it in class. Ugh, how I dispise group projects, too bad that's all Ecology is.. So yes, two resolutions right here, right now April the 19th at 4:43 pm.
I'll stop liking him, because he thinks I'm beautiful, but I don't mean anything.
I'm going to stop doing stuff for everyone all the time.
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( 1 supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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You . Sometimes if I'm having a rough day, you can make me smile. You always make me smile. But not now, these dumb emotions have me all teary eyed and stuffy nosed, I'll never let you know. I'll never cry in front of you, that's why. Tomorrow I'll be back to smiling. Like right now, I'm back to joking with you. And I told you I was okay, good thing I'm not sitting across from you, or you know I'm a liar. Daisy Buchannan, " a beautiful fool", that's all I am. I'm sure I'll still stand here, dressed to the nines and smiling so if you notice me in a different light, a light that I guess flickered and died, I'll look like something fantasic, someone worth your while, " Your girl " Maybe that's a strach too far, but maybe confronting you was too, and I did that. I like how I can type this in a letter to you, but your eyes will never see it. I like how you make me go crazy, but I'm not sure if it's in the good way or the bad way yet.
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( 4 supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Rain, road and silence. I'm so calm. My dad sat there but didn't yell, well...he did, someone was in front of me who was clearly drinking, speeding up, slowing down abruptly so I passed them and he said " dammit Courtney! I hope to God they don't take down your plate numbers, you did that too fast, we might as well go home so we don't die! " But I was too much in my own world to care.
p.s- The easter bunny freaking sucks, he brought canned tuna fish. What did he bring you? I hope not gay as fuck tuna fish.
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( 1 supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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I just saw Doug for the first time since June, he moved to Ohio. He's changed a lot, I wonder if I have, I don't think so outside of hair shades and maybe cuts. But other than that, I don't think I changed....did I?
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( 2 supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Thursday, March 24th, 2005
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Wow, I guess I forgot about this. I'm not too sure what to say now though...I found 20 dollars with Ashley on the ground yesterday, we split it. I also found a pretty silver bracelet in my gym sneakers on Tuesday. Musical is outta' control, my grandpap is driving me nuts. Joe the Bus Guy passed away, and nobody knew, that made me feel terribile. I can't believe Kara Saun didn't win Project Runway. Should I send in my Who's Who Among High School Students thing? Someone take me to the prom.
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( supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Monday, February 21st, 2005
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I think I have a problem, no matter how happy I can be, I still get this way every night. These nightmares need to stop, they make me hate sleeping. Everynight in my dreams I watch someone die, grusomely, screaming and crying and I can't wake up at all. Nothing is sacred in my dreams, my mind even found a way to kill my sweet little 3 year old cousin. Everynight for the last 3 nights I've watched Ernie die, only to find out today at lunch that he has prostate cancer. My grandma's dog has cancer, she's dying, she's not a person, but I've still known her for 11 years. I don't want to go to sleep ever again, I wanna know my best friend again, not know him by the occasionaly phone call, or trying to understand him by the cryptic love letters I can't figure out on his journal. I want to relax, I want to fall into someones arms and just cry until this all goes away, and I want them to brush their hands through my hair and pat my back because that's what calms me down, I don't want to have to get my mum to come sleep in my bed because I'm too afraid to fall back asleep alone, . I wanna go to Arizona and take pictures of the flowers and ride horses and at night curl up on the balcony with my grandma and not cry like I do anymore. I want that so bad. So fucking bad...
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( 1 supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Sunday, February 13th, 2005
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I don't know you at all anymore. New image, new person and I haven't been introduced. I miss you, I miss us. The afternoons laughing and the late night phone calls, they're all gone. Goodbye...
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( supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005
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Today was a good day, actually this is a good week. I've been so happy. Although, I'm still having nightmares, hopefully not tonight, I managed to sleep for a few hours after school today and I didn't dream about people dying, no...actually I drempt of a gay man selling me an beautiful 18th century blue lace dress at a flea market that had a Blues Travlers with suprise guests The Moldy Peaches and while they were playing three people sat on the stage on a sofa holding up newspapers, they then pulled the newspapers down and it was Rasputia! Woah...what a diverce crowd that would be if it were an actual show. Phill the groundhog saw his shadow, another six weeks of winter...oh yay! I love freezing, freezing is my favourite! Nicki and I are taking the bus into Pittsburhg Friday morning for the college fair, and if we make it out alive, then Friday night there will be the Mardi Gras dance in the IHOT. Aw yeah, bitches....aw yeah.
Meredith, Sweetie...get better! I em eye ess....miss you much!
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( 1 supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Tuesday, January 25th, 2005
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Thank you, Mike Costa. Your excitment towards High School Basketball makes me smile. And yes, I would gladly accept the 28 ounce spill-proof water bottle. Stop saying " And now" , fucker. The audition episodes of American Idol are my new guitly pleasure, I can't pass up people who willingly let me make fun of them. House is the freaking best medical show out there, everyone should watch it. I hate how Ryan Seacrest says " Seacrest, Out. " What a little bitch...
Courtney Lee up, up and away!
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( supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Monday, January 24th, 2005
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MB: George W. Bush has met five times with an Alabaman legislator named Gerald Allen who wants to remove all books featuring gay characters from public libraries and schools and “dump them in … a hole,” according to the December 9, 2004 Guardian (U.K.) This is really freaking people out, because they think the FCC’s obscenity war against TV and radio is going to shift toward books and literature. How do you feel about the future of literary freedom in America?
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( 2 supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Friday, January 14th, 2005
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Yeesh, it's been ages my dear El Jay. So,the good news first: Christmas was Christmas-y, New Year's was fablous for the most part and New York was absolutly wonderful. I had a blast, and took about a billion beautiful photos. Umm...I got one of the leads in the musical, I never realized how important Maggie was until our script read-through, Of course I'm excited, but a lot of other people who wanted my part are talking shit. Whatever, yo.
a bit of sad news, I didn't wanna let go unoticed. The day I came back from New York, my Evagine passed away. It's really beautiful how she got to see everyone for Christmas, and got to stay at Aunt Linda's for a few days, then she went back to her Home and while she was getting ready for bed, she had a little heartattack. I never knew Evagine was just her middle name, her first name was Margaritte, which I think is really pretty, both my mum and I were shocked about that, we had known a person for so long, yet didn't know their actual name. In other sad news, Martin passed away this morning, he had been fighting cancer for the last two years and a few months back he was given about 4 months to live. It's terribile, it really is...but it's bittersweet, he was in a lot of pain. I get my wisdom teeth out tomorrow, hopefully I'll still be able to go to the funeral home tomorrow.
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( 1 supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Friday, December 24th, 2004
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It's been forever since I've written, but I really just need someone(thing) to vent to. I'm not a Christmas person, I don't like it...everything is too rushed and I just hate it. But the thing I hate most is how my grandma let my cat outside, did nothing about it and didn't tell me she was fucking gone. It's fucking 14 degrees outside, and my cat is god knows where, of course I'm upset! But no, that doesn't matter...she's an animal, she'll be fine, that's the 6th time I've heard it tonight, I freaking KNOW she's an animal, but she's MY animal. Of course I was crying, so my grandma comes in my room and tells me to stop it before I ruin my parent's christmas, fucking shut up, Grandma....you ruined mine. Mazie has like...a shitload of presents to open, though she'll care way more about laying in boxes and wrapping paper, I just don't want her to miss it. I hate this holiday even more now.
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( 3 supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Saturday, November 6th, 2004
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Oh, wow...it's really been awhile since I've written. Let's see...hmm. I drove two and a half hours this morning just, around...into Plum, people can't fucking drive in Plum, it was driving me mad. Penn Hills, we went to my grandparents house, they wern't home, so my dad and I just drank all of their Turner's iced tea then left. Eventful morning, I guess. Somebody should read this and then wanna ring me and go shopping for a Christmas dance dress, or at least style ideas. I have a plain back dress and currently very little hair to do anything with. Mae is my date, I think we'll be a very adorable couple walking into the dance. I saw 14 horses and 2 cows today. Maybe I should have been watching the road more than counting farm animals. Oh well...
Some people need to go eat peanut butter. Courtney needs to go eat peanut butter.
horrah for Roothie and Mike!
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( 2 supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Wednesday, October 27th, 2004
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Elvis, tigers, never sleep,"Emotionally ill", hope, scream, honor roll, swim, cry, move away, tap shoes, death sentence, self deprication, lies, verbal abuse, a pawn, burden, Pepto Bismol,lips, memories, lose everyone, realize you don't know the one who reads you like their favourite book.
Stop me,please?
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( supersonic beats mixing up my keds)
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Monday, September 20th, 2004
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